special.

“Dear God, please I don’t know why but, I want to feel special this year for my birthday. Please help me to know I am loved, and special. Help me to let go of my selfish desire for more.”

A simple prayer I prayed the night before my birthday. I am blessed in so many ways but, I often feel alone on days that should be the most joyful — birthdays and holidays.

When  I awoke on Wednesday, I almost forgot it was actually my birthday and went for a run on the Charles. While I was running I received my first birthday message. As if it came straight from God, it was a message from a woman at church reminding me that not only does God love me and take delight in me, but there are also people in this world who enjoy my presence. I took that message and carried it with me through the rest of the day.

At breakfast, Hannah enthusiastically exclaimed, “Happy birthday!” and I received birthday wishes from many people throughout the day — in person, on Facebook, text messages, a lovely song from my brother, and a beautiful gift from my sister.

I am happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time and quite possibly, happier than I’ve ever been.  There are so many wonderful things to write about — school, research, Venice, Sicily, Hannah, a new apartment — each one deserving it’s own post. This birthday is different somehow. Everything feels new and exciting and honestly, a little scary. I have no idea what the future holds but I know it will be unlike anything I’ve ever experienced or even dreamed.

To all of the people that made me to feel special on my birthday — thank you. I love you all and I feel so very special.