running

After Hannah was born I had a desire to start running again. This desire was so strong, and so unusual for me, that her dad and I argued about whether or not it was appropriate for me to buy a jogging stroller. I insisted I would use it regularly. He said no way, it wasn’t worth the money. When we split up, one of the first things I did was go out and buy a jogging stroller — as soon as it went on sale, of course.

And, I started running. Religiously.

I quickly found a brand and style of running shoe that worked for me. No blisters. I had the size, brand, and style memorized and I never cared about color. Since then, I’ve gone through different phases with running. Sometimes I run 6 times a week sometimes I don’t run for months. But I always had my trusty running shoes.

A few years ago I decided to work on my run — improve my stride, breathing, and eventually my pace or maybe even run a marathon. It was hard work.

Then, a funny thing happened. I started getting blisters! The same shoes — same style, same brand, same size — started giving me blisters and other problems that made running feel … impossible.

I went through a phase where I didn’t run much. I switched to a different style from the same brand and it didn’t work. I went to running shoe experts that insisted I must have the wrong size. But, no matter what I did, I just got more blisters.

I went to another expert on running shoes and I explained my problem. When I received the standard explanation about cause, I insisted that was not the problem. And finally, someone listened. We talked about all the possibilities and then I received a series of shoes to try that might work. And, I found a new pair of shoes!

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So, what’s the point? A new pair of shoes… who cares?

I wanted to improve my run and, when I did, the shoes that had always worked in the past, were no longer suitable. To continue improving, I needed to update my tools to reflect my new abilities.

This story is illustrative of the ways so many things in my life have changed over the last few years. I have worked hard to improve myself in many different ways. And finally, finally! I feel like I am seeing and feeling those improvements. But, just like with my run, I have needed to let go of the old way of doing things, no matter how comfortable those things once were, and embrace the discomfort that comes with change.

Now, I am running. Running into the future — embracing change and discomfort even though I don’t know where the path will lead.

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3 thoughts on “running

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