yesterday i broke one of my favorite mugs. it shattered. slowly i collected the pieces and, as i did so, i knew they would never go back to the way they were. there would be no fixing this beautiful, one-of-a-kind treasure that was so recently gifted to me by a friend. the mug was broken; no longer a part of my life.
today i stepped on a leftover shard. it was on the floor. a blue and purple reminder of the beautiful mug it had once been. i picked it up and threw it away; no reason to hold on to remnants of something i love but can never get back.
i’ve been thinking a lot about brokenness lately. like my mug, i am broken. i will never be the girl i once was. somehow though, that’s okay. instead, i get to be the girl i am. today. in this moment. i have a new life. new friends. new career. new home. i’ve let go of so much and, by the grace of god, i’ve experienced growth, healing, and freedom.
but, like the unexpected mug remnant on my floor, broken bits of me sometimes show up in unexpected ways. my friend said, “you’re just so used to bad things happening you don’t think you deserve good things.” as much as i don’t want that to be true, i think it might be. there are a lot of changes on the horizon. all of the changes are expected and they are all good. but, i am struggling. in the past change was indicative of difficulty. what will it be like to experience changes that are only good? i guess i’ll know soon.